My first blog - confusion

Inspired my many blogs I thought of writing my own blog around 2 years back which ended up just in starting the blog with out any post. After these many days, here comes a day, where I wish to write. When I was thinking, what to write, it came to mind - Confusion.

Opted for this topic mainly,
1>Why did I think - because I was confused what to write, which to choose.
2>What took me so long - even if I write, should I post, if I publish, what will happen, will it cause anything bad to me or good to me..Again..Confusion.

So, let me first clear myself with out any confusion in my journey of 'discovering self'.

One might be wondering, what is she confused of now :

>First, about my career--Starting from my school days to college, I made myself flexible, able to adopt to any situation. Even on a day when I resigned my job, to move to other place to accompany my spouse, I was so confident that I will do 100% justice to my new 'House wife' role and find a job quickly. Revinding the past 5 months, enjoying with hubby - new friends- new location - cooking - fighting - searching job , I'm just confused am I doing/will I do (after getting job) justice to both roles. Am I putting sufficient effort in job search & doing my part well as wife ?????

>Second, feelings -- Most of all, this confusion was there with me from my childhood.
Am I different from others?
None of the below excited/stimulated me:
When I got good rank in entrance test
Being a topper in college
When I started earning at the age of 17 & 20
My first flight
My Birthday
Good appreciation in family and office
My first onsite trip
My first vehicle etc.,
My family and friends are so happy for me in all the occasions. But for me none. Or else I'm not satisfied with (or) Have I preplanned this (or) Am I just bluffing myself (or) I donno the limit (or) thinking too much (or)........
Am I the only person who is having these doubts????????No idea!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank God, for one thing, I felt the real excitement on the day of my engagement. Ofcourse, thanks to my hubby and parents for making that day so special.


hmmmmmmmm...the list continues....Let me end up this post here...So that u will not be '' by reading this.

One last thing, I watched 'PAA' movie recently. Awesome blend of talent, patience, humour, social responsibility, sacrifice, perfection, relationship etc.,

À bientôt

Vennela